Whether you’re starting at a new school, you’ve had some drama with your current friend group, or you’re just bored, it might be time for you to make new friends and meet some new people. But making new friends can be hard. Maybe you’re one of those people who is super outgoing and makes new friends wherever you go, but chances are, you may be a little bit more like my previously shyer self: someone who wants to make new friends but is intimidated by the idea of just walking up to a person and saying “hi”.
I want to give you some tips on ways for you to make new friends, but hopefully, without all of the stress and anxiety you may have about the idea. Watch the video below to learn my tips or continuing reading!
Where Can I Make New Friends?
Let’s start with the “where”. Surely there are places you can go where you can find people with similar interests to you!
A Volunteer Group
Doing volunteer work can be a great way to make new friends. Your school may have a community service group, or your town might as well. By doing volunteer work, you have a chance to do something wonderful for your community, as well as meet people who may have a similar passion to make the world a better place. If you’re having trouble finding such a group in your town, see what opportunities there are online.
Your Neighborhood
You may think you already know everyone in your neighborhood, but maybe you don’t. Try taking a walk or riding your bike in your neighborhood more often, and start to notice the people around you. Even better, if you have a dog, feel free to bring your dog as a great conversation starter!
School Clubs/Activities
Most middle schools and high schools have a variety of different after-school clubs and activities you can choose from (try looking on the school website if you’re not sure where to begin!). In middle school, I was pretty shy, but I was able to find some courage to join the new newspaper club because I enjoyed writing. It went so well that I was even voted to choose the name of the paper! You never know until you try.
Bookstore/Library
If you like to read, try hitting up a new bookstore or your town library more regularly. A lot of them have some kind of section where you can sit down and read, and you may just find someone else who has a similar interest to you. Notice who else is browsing in the sections you like, and maybe try to start a conversation based on a book. This might be a more comfortable topic than your typical, “Hi, I’m so-and-so” conversation starter.
Sports Team/Dance Class
A great way to not only stay active, but also to make new friends is joining a sports team, or if sports aren’t your thing, then a dance class. In the process, you get to try something new, and maybe find a passion, all the while seeing other kids who might be in the same boat as you. After trying out many different sports teams growing up, I found volleyball in 8th grade and I still enjoy playing today, not to mention I met some of my favorite people through the sport (shoutout to Miss Lexi <3).
There are so many places you can try to make new friends, and it doesn’t have to be as hard as it sounds! Feel free to try out some of these places, and let things click into place.
How can an introvert make friends?
Do you find yourself comfortable in your own house, but sometimes wish you had someone to share that space with? Try these things to find your introvert buddy.
Take your interests to the next level
Think about what you like to do. Read? Write? Create art? Photography? Music? See if there’s an after-school club that embodies one of your hobbies and try going to one or two meetings to start out. If you don’t enjoy it, that’s okay! There’s no shame in admitting that something isn’t right for you. However, there’s no harm in trying it. Worst case scenario, you walk away. Or, try signing up for a local class if you’re interested in improving a current skill (or a new one!) and you might just end up finding someone like you.
Take advantage of your strengths
Think about your strengths. If you want a different perspective, ask a parent or a sibling. When trying to make new friends and put yourself out there, it’s important to play to your own strengths. This can help ease the transition into becoming a bit more outgoing if you have confidence in something. For example, if you have the tendency to see the good in everyone, use that to your advantage when meeting someone new. If you’re a really great listener, make sure you use that skill when listening to someone introduce themselves to you for the first time.
Start small, but don’t be afraid to try something new
You may be used to doing things by yourself, or often at home. One thing I want to get across is don’t feel like you need to change who you are in order to make new friends. Start small and go at your own pace. However, try to take the first small step and attempt something new. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, why not sign up for a workshop or a class? Start with something maybe a week long, and attend each session with an open mind. If you end up finding out it’s not for you, it’s not like you’ve become too committed to it. And the best case scenario: you may end up finding someone else who has similar traits and interests as you!
If you’ve been in your introverted ways for a long time, it may seem overwhelming to take that first step and get out there. Just remember to start small and stay true to yourself. I believe in you!!
How do I make friends naturally?
Sometimes making friends can seem forced. You want to make new friends, but how can that happen naturally?
Be more conscious in school
Your school is full of kids your age and likely some potential friends. Start to notice who may have similar tendencies to you in your classes. Or, see who’s shy and might be looking to make a new friend too. Start up conversations with your locker buddy or that person you sit next to in that class you like. You’d be surprised just how quick it can sometimes be to make new friends.
Try to meet friends of friends
If you already have a couple of people you’re close to, why not try to expand your circle by meeting their friends too? A great way to make new friends is to meet the friends of your current friends because it’s likely that you’ll all have something in common.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself
The last thing you want to do is put too much pressure on yourself; you already have enough going on. Just let things take their course and things are sure to work out fine. Keep all of these strategies in the back of your mind as you try to make new friends, but don’t feel like you need to force yourself on anyone, or do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
There are simple ways to go about making new friends; it’s just about finding them! No matter what, always remember that you are valued.
How do I become everyone’s friend?
Maybe you want to try to be that person in school who can get along with anyone and everyone. Try out these tips if this sounds like you!
Treat others how you want to be treated
It might be cheesy and redundant, but the golden rule totally works. Try to be kind to everyone, and if someone has an opinion that differs from your own, politely disagree, or don’t say anything at all. A little bit of kindness can go a long way. One of my favorite quotes: “throw kindness like confetti”!
Swap phone numbers or Snap usernames often
When you meet someone new, be the person to say, “Hey, what’s your number?” or “Hey, do you have Snap?”. This will let the other person know that you want to get to know them more and it will keep the conversation going long after you go your separate ways!
Smile in the hallways and compliment people
Don’t force yourself to smile all the time or give compliments just to get someone to like you, but rather go about your days with a positive attitude in mind. If you’re feeling happy, show it! I love it when I see other people smiling; it’s infectious. If you like that girl’s skirt or think those sunglasses are cool, tell them so!
It’s technically not really possible to be best friends with everyone, but there is a way to be friendly with everyone! The more friendly you are, the more other people will want to be your friend.
How do I get a social life?
This is the thing that everyone wants, right? Over time, I’ve learned that when it comes to friends, quality comes over quantity by far. But a social life doesn’t necessarily mean you have a lot of friends; instead, it means you have a good time with the friends you do have. Here’s how you can make that happen!
Reach out to your friends
It might seem scary, but sometimes you need to be the one to reach out to your friends to make a plan to hang out. Sometimes your friends will be the ones to reach out to you, but it’s important to reciprocate and initiate plans some of the time too so that the friendship is equally balanced.
Come up with fun, different ideas for hangouts
Sure, you could stick with the typical let’s-play-videogames or let’s-go-shopping, but there are so many other ideas that you could try out too! How about rollerblading? Or taking a walk in your neighborhood? Or bowling? Or baking something new? The ideas are endless and if you bring up a new hangout every once in a while, your friends will know that they have a great time when they hang out with you!
Have New Friends over to your home
When you put yourself out there and invite others over to your house, your friendships will grow stronger because you’re showing them a part of your world. Your openness may allow them to be more open with you and you might get some invites over to their house too! In most cases, the more you share your life with someone, the more they’ll share with you.
Gaining a social life shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of your teen years, but I will say, naturally, it seems like a big part. These years are a great opportunity for you to make new friends and figure out who you are. Don’t bypass this opportunity!
Let’s Wrap it Up
Whether you’re starting at a new school, things with your current friend group have gotten a bit tricky, or you’re just feeling kind of lonely, it’s never too late to make new friends!
I’d also just like to note that friendships go up and down just like anything else in your life. They change, and you do too. Don’t be too quick to give up on a friendship, and don’t be afraid to go back to one after some time has separated you guys.
Also…always remember to stay true to yourself and never let anyone change the things that make you the most special.
Because you are so special, my friend.
In the comments below, tell me your favorite tip to make new friends that I’ve shared with you!
Always wishing you the best,
Feel free to contact me or learn more about Something Yellow!